stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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