cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
