she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
