I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
