Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
