K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I look better un-naked...
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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