I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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