I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
We got so high we made milksteak
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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