pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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