Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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