He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
