I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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