how can u be prego again
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
