And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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