I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
