Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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