you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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