Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
