you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
