She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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