If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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