New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
he laminated a picture of his dick.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
