VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
