You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
