ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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