I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
