wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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