Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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