is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
