Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
