i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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