Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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