There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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