We won't sleep together?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When did angry sex become our thing?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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