the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
