TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
