im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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