seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
