I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
