the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
