he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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