okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
