Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
