At least make sure they are 18
Why
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Randomize
