im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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