Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
