Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
