we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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