I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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