Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
