ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
