There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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