i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
