just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
