idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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