this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
