why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
