In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
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